Cures

Not much to report by way of results but I have continued to research possible cures and continue to be astounded by the wealth of information out there (thank goodness for the Internet age!). It is also quite interesting that there seems to be a lot general concurrence in ideas about physical life, even though the terms or perspectives may change between disciplines/teachers.

The general idea that I keep coming across is that true healing of chronic illness can only come from within. There are three main, very compatible, ideas for creating the conditions for this to happen:

1. Diet: Eliminating "toxic" foodstuffs from the diet (which may be causing the auto-immune reactions which cause the chronic condition). "Toxic" foodstuffs are generally considered to be animal proteins (meat, dairy, eggs) and a bunch of other candidates, like wheat (gluten) and an excess of grains/starch in general.

2. Energy: Chinese medicine has the concept of "energy balance" and "energy blockages", which can be fixed, or brought back into balance, by nerve stimulation (acupunture, etc.) and diet. Reiki is "curing with energy". Meditation is also considered to be able to restore energy flow within the body. I think prayer is probably a form of opening yourself to "universal energy" and so could be included in this category.

3. Pyschological: Removing the pyschological issues (self-dislike, need for attention, etc.) that prevent the body from sending the chemical signals required to regenerate the needed cells, or stop the body sending the signals that are damaging itself.

All of these ideas are basically compatible and, in my conclusion, revolve around the key idea learning to love yourself (and hence avoid cumpulsive habits like eating, overworking, etc.).

Test Results

Another set of test results came back today. I don't think there are any really significant changes. On one hand this is a little disappointing. I keep hoping to see a dramatic reduction in something. On the other hand stability is a lot better than deteriation!

Triglycerides have risen beyond the target level (bad), probably due to eating more carbohydrates (maybe I should be more disciplined about avoiding wheat... it just tastes SOO good!). Uric Acid has dropped below the target level (good), probably due to the medication Xyloprim.

For those who like numbers here are the current results with (target level) in parenthesis.

Serum Creatinine 2.4 mg/dL Ideally this would be below 2mg/dL. Normal is < 1.5mg/dL

Glucose 86mg/dL (< 110mg/dL) No change.

Triglycerides 190mg/dL (< 160mg/dL). Last month 133mg/dL

Cholesterol 154mg/dL (< 200mg/dL) Last month 131mg/dL

Uric Acid 5.9mg/dL (< 7.0mg/dL) Last month 9.2mg/dL (before medication)

Hematocrit 35.1% (> 32%) Last month 36.5 %

Overall the results show a decline in blood quality (after an improvement last month). Maybe it's something that naturally varies. Or maybe it's because I've become less enthusiastic about eating fruit, drinking gallons of water, etc.

The results of the urine test are basically the same as those of two months ago. Proteins in urine was 100mg/dL compared to 300mg/dL previously but I think this number is highly variable in a single sample (which is why I've had to do 24 hour urine collections, fun, fun, fun).

Motivation to live

Today my six year old daughter, for no apparent reason, asked me "Daddy, what do you have to do to live a long time?" Delighted that she was asking me something I have been researching so much lately, I cheerfully replied "You have to be happy, always enjoy what you're doing, avoid fighting and being angry, treat everyone as your friend, get lots of sleep, and only eat good things..."

What she said next took me completely by surprise:

"Daddy, I want you to live a long time"

I told her I was going to do everything I could.

Progress

Well, two months have passed since I found out about my condition. 

A week or two after the initial revelation, I decided that to reverse the condition I would have to lead a buddhist monk existance, rising at sunrise every morning for meditation on the beach, living only in the moment, working only a few hours a day and without concern, learning to feel at one with the universe, eating only to satisfy my body and not my mind, getting plenty of rest and plenty of playtime (especially with my children), receiving psychotherapy, etc.

So how am I doing? Pretty poorly really. Here I am at 1am writing my blog and in general I seem to find it a lot easier to spend hours reading about healthy living and meditation than to spend half-an-hour putting it to practice. Although some of my diet changes have been radical, a lot of my consumption is still "comfort" snacks rather than needed nutrition. The psychotherapy is still on the back boiler (I would start if a psychotherapist walked up to me and offered his services...!). I still have trouble getting to myself to sleep at a reasonable time. I am definitely working less and spending more time with my girls but even with them, I'm still checking, and responding to, my mail every few minutes.

I feel that finding out about my condition has been a blessing because it has prompted me to reevaluate my lifestyle and realize that I would like to make lots of changes (and in fact need to make lots of changes if my body is to survive). The question is whether I really have enough desire to make them.

In some ways I feel like it's a battle between me, the Father, who would like to continue his journey for another 30-60 years, and me, the dysfunctional person, who wants to have a chronic, life-threatening, disease. My conscience mind wants the father to win but my subconscience worries me... I´m sure there is a lot of baggage in there that needs to be cast aside if I'm to stop injuring myself.

Learning to be children

This as I sat in my Aikido class, stressing about the noise my young children were making in the "audience" I was struck by a certain irony: 

Here we were, 15 grown men, solomnly listening to an Aikido master talking about importance of being happy and living in the present, while my children, with no instruction, joyously played without the slightest thought of anything beyond that moment. In other words, the mental state that requires years of disciplined training in an adult, exists effortlessly in children. Instead of being embarrassed about my girls disturbing the class, I should probably proudly present them as ideals!

I had always worried that maybe I wasn't teaching my children well (or at all!) but now I find they have much to teach me... I now feel that my main parental responability is to simply be a worthy example. The first step should be learning to love myself and especially my kidneys! (maybe I should keep the ultrasound photos in my wallet...)

Cures in wild animals

Today by pure chance I came across an intestersting book that scientifically documents the impressive healing abilities of wild animals use: Wild Health, By Cindy Engel

I had previously read in a naturopath website that wild animals don't suffer from chronic disease but thought this was probably due to a lack of data than any scientific fact. Now I'm beginning to think that it ties into the theory that all chronic disease starts in the mind... wild animals, as far as I know, don't suffer from the psychological issues that affect man and animals in captivity. 

That almost implies that societal living, which depends on exchange, is a form of captivity because we become dependent on others for our survival. This dependency probably gives rise to expectancies (of reciprocity, of respect, etc.), the unfulfillment of which, seems to me (as my hero, Winnie-the-Pooh would say) to be the primary cause of negative emotions and said psychological issues (which is not to negate the huge benefits of societal living!).

The buddhist goal of "freedom from desire" (which could probably be expressed as "freedom from expectations") seeks to avoid these damaging psychological hang-ups. Perhaps the healthiest option is to learn to live in the trap (of society) without being trapped (psychologically, at least). This is probably what the long-lived communities described in the The Blue Zone acheive.

Of course I'm sure this has all been studied to death but I'm still pretty ignorant. Hopefully the pyschology books I've ordered will help (if only buying a book was the same as understanding its contents!)

Recipes: Guacamole, Carrot and Pineapple Juice

Perhaps too simple to be called recipes, these combinations have worked well for me:

Guacamole

While there must be hundreds of recipes on the web for guacamole, lately I've been enjoying the following as an alternative to plain avocado:

2 Avocados (soft)

Juice of 1 Lime

Mush together with a fork.

You can raw onion, etc. if you like that sort of thing (I don't)

This works well spread on warm corn tortillas, either alone or before filling with fried mushrooms and salad (lettuce, sprouts, grated carrot, etc.)

Carrot and Pineapple Juice

A big surprise for me has been how good fresh carrot juice tastes. I had tried carrot juice years ago and wasn't too impressed, perhaps because it hadn't been made at that moment. Combining it with pineapple (any ratio from 30:70 to 70:30), however, is really delicious to my palate.

What amazes me is that although I would be hard pushed to eat 10 carrots at once, or a whole pineapple, I can happily drink these quantities once they've been juiced. I don't know if juice is better than eating the whole food (it certainly isn't natural!). Maybe it's better because it fills you more easily, reducing cravings for wheat, etc.