I called a friend and he asked me if I was well... "Very well" came my eager reply, and when I thought about it I realized I wasn't really lying. Physically I feel great. That is what is so frustrating... to be alerted to an impending doom and being powerless to do much about it.
It's a bit like observing the approach of a hurricane from our home in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. Even though the weather is calm and beautiful, you know days ahead of time that something terrible is coming but there's not much you can do about it except make the best use of the time available (and pray for a miracle, which is my current stratagy with my kidney disease!).
I also get flashes where I think, or want to believe, that this is all just a bad dream... after all "I'm fine"! Oh if I could just turn back the clock...
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